Children's disruptive behavior can often provoke anger in their parents. Learning new parenting responses takes effort. Long-lasting change comes slowly. Celebrate small successes when you use "healthy" expressions of angry feelings to improve your children's behavior. Pat
yourself on the back. It takes time and patience.
Here are Team Esteem's top parenting strategies, proven to create positive change in both you and your child's life. Remember to keep your cool, and focus on progress not perfection!
TE Parenting Strategy #1: Express Your Feelings
It is important to express your feelings in front of your children in healthy ways.
TE Parenting Strategy #2: Accept Your Child's Feelings
By accepting your children's feelings, it shows them it is natural and gives you the opportunity to teach them how to express him/herself better.
TE Parenting Strategy #3: Offer a Choice
The Situation: Play date. Your House. Name Calling. Don't Yell: "No more name calling!"
Instead, say This: "If the name calling doesn't stop, your friend will go home." If you hear name calling again, follow through and send the friend home with an apology.
TE Parenting Strategy #4: State a Rule
The Situation: 1 PM. Your children's disagreement comes to blows and you're planning on going to a 5 PM movie. Don't Yell: "Hitting must stop now or we're not going to the movie!"
Instead, say This: "Hitting is not okay. You both need to take a break and think of another way to talk to each other. When you come up with an idea, we can plan on seeing the movie.”
"When you focus your mind on the present moment, on the process of what you are doing right now, you are the process of what you are doing right now, you are always where you want to be and where you should be. All of your energy goes into what you are doing. However, when you focus your mind on where you want to end up, you are never where you are and you exhaust your energy with unrelated thoughts instead of putting it into what you are doing." -The Practicing Mind: Bringing Discipline and Focus Into Your Life, by Thomas M. Sterner
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Amanda Baten, the key to optimal mental health is balance and changing your thinking by using different "self-talk" language. Although Amanda is referring to healthy exercise and dietary choices, this is also relative to reflective parenting habits - WORDS TO LIVE BY.
Want to change your parenting approach? Tired of feeling angry, burnt out and overwhelmed? Schedule a one-on-one personalized Parent Strategy Session with Jamie today! Find what works best for both you and your child to create positive change now!